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Today is my mother's one year death anniversary. One year since she left us unexpectedly. One year that I have been suffering. One year where I hear my son mention her name. One year without the person who was there every single day. These last few months, I have tried not to think. I choose not to think so that I do not hurt. Today, it was inevitable to think. I had a good sob and now I am reflecting. It still baffles me how it has really been a year since you left us although I feel your presence every now and then. I wonder what you would say to me if we could talk right now. I wonder if you are proud of my growth within the last year and the decisions I have made. I wonder a lot. I wonder how things would have been if you were still here. I miss you very much mom. I know you know that. Today we lit a candle, blew up some balloons and got you flowers. We celebrate your life, the years that you gave us. The years that you struggled to make sure we were okay. I love you and although our relationship was a rocky one, I am sure you knew that too. One day we will reunite, until then I will constantly try to make you proud. One year gone. One year lost. One year closer to our reunion. I love you mom.